that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
