How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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