i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
