he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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