OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
