so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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