nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
