Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
