I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
