Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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