Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How does it feel to date your dad?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize