did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
