my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
