I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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