I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
