You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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