You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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