Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
