..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
