No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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