This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
