I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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