It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
