ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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