apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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