Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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