This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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