You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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