she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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