are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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