I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
