are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
