My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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