dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there was a trapeze. enough said
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
