We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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