last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize