This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
