do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
