We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
