It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
