I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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