hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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