So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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