Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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