What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize