so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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