Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
