may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Couch. On fire.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize