he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sobbing to NWA
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize