I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
