Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
