Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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