How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
