She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
