It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
