Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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