hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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