Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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