i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
